Greetings all you covertly perusing horticulturists

My name is Dandy to some, Andy to most and Randolph to those who just aren't paying attention.

This post has been long overdue and much of that is due to my damn Man of Steel review eating up what very little free time I actually have. Never the less, it is a great honour to be added to this blog as guest author and I would be a fool not to make use of it, so here I am.

Now I'm here, first I want to say a big thank you to Zuz for giving me free reign to ramble on about whatever comes to mind (a dangerous business for anyone to take on)

I thought I'd start off with a quick run down on what I've seen over the year; a sort of half yearly review, if you will. True, we are slightly passed the half way mark but I'm going to do it anyway.

You can't stop me, I'm typing now without any hindrance at all. Your precognitive telekinesis is pitiful it would seem.

I digress, so without further a do let's start with:

FILMS

That's 'movies' for those across the pond, or 'motion pictures' for those pompous individuals that need a slap across the buccae (do be careful of the spelling if you're going to google that)

Cloud Atlas

As far as I'm aware, this was 'panned' harder than Manuel from Fawlty Towers for being too boring, too long, too confusing, too self indulgent and just too plain odd. Never let it be said though that I have let the over-inflated opinion of critics influence my own intrinsic judgment (as well as a slightly pushy girlfriend who wanted to see it rather than Reign of Assassins. Tsk, women eh?) So see it I did and I honestly don't see where all the aversion came from. Yes it does have a tendency to jump around the narrative a bit, a lot of it is open to viewer interpretation and Tom Hank's 'Oirish accent makes Tom Cruise's attempt in Far & Away sound like Gerry Adams but I'm pretty sure that was the point; the mentioned scene was played for laughs and it damn well succeeded. Tom Hanks is a fine actor but everyone knows he can only do two accents convincingly: North American and Southern American (and possibly a fictional middle eastern country as well)

I found Cloud Atlas thought-provoking, eclectic but not jarring, the story flowed well despite the frequent time line shifts, the characters were well defined and at times it was incredible to look at; the cinematography was remarkable. I was enthralled for the majority of the 3 hour plus running time and even better it didn't even feel that long. Heck I got more of an uncomfortable cinema leg cramp watching Cars 2.

I've never read the book so I can't compare it to it's original format but to me Cloud Atlas was a good film with striking visuals, good writing and some truly wonderful performances. It's a shame about a lack of focus due to so many characters and a slightly forgettable conclusion.

Despite this I give it a solid 4 out of 5. One of the better films I've seen all year. It's worth seeing it for the make up effects alone and then seeing if you correctly matched the actor to the right character. A very handy pre end credits section makes it easy to see how right or wrong you were.

The Purge

(premise - for one night every year all crime is legal, including murder)


I loved the concept of this; so much potential for delving into the dark side of human nature, so many possible morality arcs for the characters to experience, so terrifying the idea to be targeted by someone you know for any minor grievance they have against you and yet so many opportunities wasted when it's overall execution comes across as any other B-movie horror/thriller with lazy writing, style over substance visuals, fetish for the dark directing and ridiculous decisions by cliché riddled stock characters including; a slutty school girl, creepy emo kid and a grinning villain who has been watching too much of American Psycho. There is also a plot twist so predictable that even Columbo wouldn't waste his time with "jus' one more question" and an ending that made me a little sad for the world of creative writing.

2.5 out of 5 (a lot of this is for the concept alone)

Man of Steel

Big in depth review on it's way in my own blog, a brief taster of this would be: Cavill good, Shannon bad, kid cape is stupid and Superman is not Jesus (can't see him feeding the sick, the poor and suffering when they're all now under a million tonnes of Metropolis rubble)

Want to know more? Stay tuned to welcometorro.blogspot.com for my Reviews, Rants & Observations

After Earth

Without a doubt the funniest film I have seen all year. It has less conviction than a production of Hamlet performing all their dialogue as Texan cowboys whilst riding unicycles and wearing toilet seats around their necks, only with less emotional turmoil and more Will Smith doing his best impression of a chest of drawers. I'm going to go more in depth in a future post as to why this film fails so spectacularly and yet what emerges from the wreck is a film so unintentionally hilarious it is worth seeing anyway.

I will leave you with this thought; Will Smith's character is called *serious face* General Cypher Raige. Just try saying that out loud and try to keep a straight face. Not easy is it? Also, due to Will Smith being the creator of the story, it means that he created that name for HIMSELF.

That's just the start too, it only gets much worse (or better if you need a good laugh) from there.

As a film the way it is meant to be viewed, a very generous 1 out of 5
As a piece of unrealised satire 3.5 out of 5

World War Z

It's seems to be a running theme this year where upon I will see a trailer and dismiss the film as looking as appealing as a great big pile of garbage unskillfully shaped into a giant turd. World War Z turned out to be another example of 'bad trailer' - not bad film. It's not great but the overall execution of the subject matter is done pretty well. Brad Pitt's character is decently portrayed and from what I remember he doesn't fall into the usual zombie film protagonist cliche of making bad plot decisions as often as he does shooting out undead temporal lobes. It was an enjoyably average film which I was certain was going to be turkey but ended up being a turkey sandwich, with a spattering of cranberry and mayo; kind of hard to swallow but enough dressing to make it digestible

3 out of 5 (also a spattering of cranberry is something that was bewilderingly absent from World War Z. I've never seen a zombie film less visceral)



If music be the food of love then it's time to get out the bibs and show me the roses because next up we have:

 

Muse (Etihad Arena Manchester)

As much as I enjoyed this gig and the experience of seeing a band who are considered the best live act ever for the first time, I couldn't help but think that venue chosen may not have been the best choice. The 40,000 strong crowd gave it everything they got but a lot of gaps were clearly visible in the stands and towards the back of the throng of fans on the arena floor, this was due to how colossal the Etihad was (maximum seating capacity is 60,000 I believe), also the arena suffered from strangely reserved acoustics and at times even frontman Matt Bellamy's voice seemed lost in the ether, especially using his infamous falsetto. Maybe my overall position in the masses was a factor but to be honest no matter where you are sat or stood during a gig, you should at the very least be able to hear the music. I could hear the music, just not as clearly as I would like

As a band however they were tighter Ebeneezer Scrooge's purse strings and the showmanship displayed with each band member was a joy to see. Obviously Bellamy was at the forefront for the majority but it was good to see bass player Chris Wolstenholme getting his share of the lime light and even singing a solo number himself from The 2nd Law album. To say he was good would be an understatement, in any other band he could easily make it as lead singer. It's just another of many indications as to how talented these guys are. A thoroughly enjoyable evening all around and even the beer was good.

4 out of 5 (the 40,000 was a a guess, please feel free to correct me and I will freely mark you as more pedantic than myself)

Kings Of Leon (MEN Manchester)

Until 2008 I never thought much of Kings Of Leon. I liked the songs Molly's Chambers and On Call whereas their arguably best known hit The Bucket always left me with a feeling of beige indifference. Then I went to Oxegen music festival in Ireland and was firmly slapped in the face by their musicianship and kicked in the yarbles by their stage presence and 'beautiful noise' for good measure. I walked to my tent afterwards, tail between my legs in shock, awe, happiness and able to sing the Bee Gees a little better. Happy days.

I had mixed feelings about seeing them again; I mean, how could they possibly live up to the pressure of being one of the best live performances I have ever seen? I shouldn't have worried a jot. They were just as good if not more so than before. The lighting was inspired, different each time and uncannily relevant for the tone and context of each individual song which in turn counteracted the somewhat basic staging. I think at one point during My Party, Caleb seemed to be having a little trouble with his earpiece but other than that, technical hitches, glitches and twitches were reassuringly absent.

Needless to say I left the gig happy as Larry the laughing Llama and was humming the tune to Holy Roller Novocaine all the way to the bar to line up the cocktails (not that I'm a drunk or anything *hic*)

4.5 out of 5


So there we go, a half a year of entertainment summed up in a few paragraphs. Hope you enjoyed reading and look out for my rants on pop music lyrics. I have a bee so firmly in my bonnet about things like that it's taken up residence and is now claiming housing benefits. There's also going to be a more in-depth reviews for the likes of Now You See Me, Pacific Rim, Monsters University and of course Man of Steel coming soon.

Word out and peace up or however the order goes

Bye for now





Half a year older and deeper in debt

Dandy

Friday's Fashion Icon: NICOLE RICHIE

What thought comes to your mind when I say the name NICOLE RICHIE? Some might say spoilt brat who had it easy in life. Some might say that they remember her famous anorexic pictures which shocked the world. Some of you will come out with: "Is that the other Barbie who starred in the silly reality show with Paris Hilton?".  And I am sure that there would be more that one answer like that, but I wonder how many of you say: "Nicole Richie? She is amazing! She is an example of how you can turn your life around to the good side!"

I must say I have been a fan of Nicole for more that a decade. I think she is one amazing woman! She is an actress, singer, fashion designer, fashion icon, business woman, wife and mum. She does it all with lots of respect and style. 

Nicole Camille Richie (born Nicole Camille Escovedo) was born on September 21st 1981. She was adopted by Lionel Richie when she was only 9 years old. Her biological parents were friends with Lionel, but when they weren't able to provide for their daughter, Lionel became her guardian and later on an adoptive parent. Nicole had everything she wanted in her life thanks to a bitter divorce of her adoptive parents. They wanted to protect her which resulted in indulging her every whim. Nicole said : "Their way of making me happy was to say yes to everything I wanted, but I don't think a little girl should have that much freedom." 

Around this time Nicole met and became best friends with another millionaire heiress Paris Hilton. Them two went on to start together in "little reality show" THE SIMPLE LIFE. And that's were it all started. Fame. Troubles. Nicole was charges for driving under influence. Her friendship with Paris had some major complication. So after 5 season The Simple Life run its end. 

After that period of her life ended, Nicole tried her luck with acting. She went on and had some guest appearances in show: Kids in America, Eve, Six Feet Under, American Dreams, 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. 

In 2005 Nicole wrote a semi-autobiographical novel THE TRUTH ABOUT DIAMONDS, which was fictional, but there were some aspects of her true life.  In 2010 she published another novel PRICELESS about a girl who looses everything in her life which helps her to learn what really matters. 

Nicole can play piano and there were some talks about her recording an album, but it was never released. 

But not all is a glitter in her life. She went through a dark period. Nicole suffered some major health issues. We all know the famous photograph of her running on the beach in blue bikini looking unhealthy thin. Nicole denied that she suffers from anorexia. She told Vanity Fair in May 2006: "I know I'm too thin right now, so I wouldn't want any young girl looking at me and saying, 'That's what I want to look like.' I started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor. I was scared that it could be something more serious. I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. I do not have an eating disorder." In October 2006 it was announced that she was seeking a treatment for "an inability to put on weight".  Then in March 2007 she was admitted to hospital for dehydration and her representatives announced she was diagnosed with hypoglycaemia. 

As mentioned before, she was arrested for drinking under influence as she failed sobriety test. She was charged and sentenced to four days in jail at the Century Regional Detention Centre in Lynwood, but released early due to overcrowding in the jail system. She spent there 82 mins.

So now you know the history and her bad period in life. Let's talk about why I love her so much:

After this dark period Nicole began dating Joel Madden and her life has changed. She has become a fashion and jewellery designer. Her first jewellery collection debuted in 2008 under a name HOUSE OF HARLOW 1960. The line became available at Kitson's online boutique. Later on it was extended to shoes and apparel. Then in 2009 she joined a maternity story A Pea in the Pod to design a fashion line for woman who are expecting. She became a face of the line under name "NICOLE". In 2010 she introduced her own fashion line for woman WINTER KATE. The collection was inspired by timeless prints and shapes, beautiful paisley and florals. HOUSE OF HARLOW helped her to win "Entrepreneur of Year" at the Glamour Women of Year 2010 awards. 

Nicole's amazing fashion style earned her crowd of young followers who look up to her for fashion inspiration. She has a very distinctive boho style. It's all about maxi dresses, prints, 60's & 70's look made for this generation girl. She is the one who brought us headpieces and hair jewellery! And the handbag brand Balenciaga enjoyed a big success thanks to Nicole carrying their bags everywhere! I love her style and often look for inspiration in pictures of her (thanks to her I have a quite large hat collection). 

Her unique and always inspiring fashion style let her to become a mentor on a fashion reality show alongside Jessica Simpson "Fashion Star". 

Nicole and Joel married on December 1st 2010. The couple has two children : Harlow Winter Kate Madden ( born 2008 ) and Sparrow James Midnight Madden (born 2009).  Nicole sets her daughter a great example and her children mean the life to her. She was often heard to say that her daughter save her life. Thanks to her Nicole became healthy happy mum. 

The Maddens also give their time to charity. In 2007 they created "The Richie Madden Children's Foundation". Alongside her brother-in-laws Benji Madden they worked with UNICEF and held a fundraiser for the Tap Project. The foundation designed "Cup with Cause which was part of their charity focused coffee campaign. They worked with Beyond Shelter, a non-profit organisation devoted to providing shelter for homeless families in Los Angeles. In May 2008 the couple shot a UNICEF public-service announcement to generate aid for the cyclone-devasted Myanmar. They both wrote blogs on the UNICEF website to encourage people to help children in need. Nicole is also a member of the Environmentall Media Association. 

So what do you think about Nicole now? LOVE HER OR HATE HER, YOU MUST SAY SHE HAS AN AMAZING STYLE  AND IS A PRIME EXAMPLE IN LONG LIST OF  YOUNG STARLETS WHO'S LIFE HASN'T BEEN EASY. BUT SHE MANAGED TO TURN IT AROUND AND BECOME ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD. 

#TrailerThursday

Hello there  my lovelies!

I have decided to change up a little bit the trailer of week post .. It's all part of a preparation for the re-design this blog - my one and only baby (..so far). I love that this blog have so many aspects of everyday's life and therefore I have decided to dedicated certain days in a week to certain themed posts. Mondays are the days when I share with you my choice for the week's song (that is usually a tune stuck in head and playing on my mind all day - Sorry, I know you expected better of me!! But at least it's truthful!).  I love my regular posts where I share with you the film trailers for films I am looking forward to see in the cinema or are coming out soon on DVD's and therefore I've decided to start weekly post #TrailerThursday (and I am kinda over #ThrowbackThursday - everyone does it!). There is another change, I will try to share with you more than one trailer as the Hollywood is coming up with more and more films to feed our minds with. So here is my this week's selection:

1) KICK-ASS 2

Yes, Aaron Johnson (previously known as Aaron Taylor-Johnson - oh yes - the hot guy who married a female director twice his age!!) is back in tight padded costume of "real-life hero" Kick-Ass. Together with him we meeting again Chloe Moretz as Hit-Girl, who is a star of the first movie. This time they have some help of a very unexpected casting choice - Jim Carrey. Together they fight against the crime with very un-exptected methods.

KICK-ASS 2 will hit the cinemas on 14th August in UK and slowly will get released to the rest of the world. The first film was such a success all around the world so let's hope that the sequel won't disappoint. 

2) ABOUT TIME

An english romantic sic-fi comedy about a guy who discovers that male members of his family can influence the time. All you need to do is close yourself in a dark room, hold your hands tight and imagine a moment you want to be in. Easy. He cannot change the history, but he can influence his own life. And who wouldn't want to use that ability? And of course he meets a girl and for a little bit, everything is peachy. But then he accidentally deletes the timeline and he needs to work hard to win her back! Will he manage to win a heart of the girl he loves back? 

I am really looking forward to see this movie because it's a well needed food for my romantic soul. The film starts Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams & Bill Nighy. The film premiered at summer showing at Somerset House, but the official release date for UK is 4th September 2013 and early November for the rest of the world. 

3) THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

Based on a true story, the life of Jordan Belfort, it explores his rise to being a wealthy stocker broker, living luxury life and having more money that we could dream of. But the success comes in hand with crime, corruption and federal investigation. Leonardo DiCaprio shines as the main character (he truly gets better with age). Matthew McConaughey & Jonah Hill are his partners in crime. 

I am really excited about this one. It has everything - luxury, sex, money, fun and it promises a great story. It premieres on 14th of November 2013 in USA but here in UK we won't be able see until January 17th 2014. 

It looks incredible! I am expecting a great plot line, amazing performances and lots of excitement! Wouldn't imagine anything less as it's directed by Martin Scorsese!!!

So they are my picks for this week, let me know what would you like to see yourself in next week's post! You can tweet us on @SecretGardenG, don't forget #TrailerThursday!!